Folks who don't distinguish between "Red Scare" socialism and "New Deal" socialism 
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Ken Blackman@kenblackman@me.dm
Relationship and intimacy coach. https://kenblackman.com/
- Joined
- May 07, 2023
- Medium publication
- https://medium.com/straight-talkers
- Website
- https://kenblackman.com/
If you avoid doing anything hard, eventually easy things will become hard to do.
Would love to have heard the audio feed into Stephen Miller's earpiece during the 15 seconds of silence
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No moral to the story or metaphoric insight today. I'm working on an article about AI and consciousness, and this anecdote, while relevant, was a darling that had to be killed, as writers say. So I thought I'd share it here.
6/6
I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. When we realized, everything got clear. But now I had to distract myself. Watching him work, my pulse would slow. It wasn't a reliable signal. I had to look around the room, let anything catch my attention, for him to get a decent reading.
5/6
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Later, I went to a Chinese medicine doctor, who diagnoses ailments by reading your pulse with a gentle touch on your inner wrist. He was confused as fuck. He kept listening, frowning. He could tell something was off and couldn't make sense of it.
4/6
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Like I said I didn't really think much about it, it was more of a conditioned response to the blood pressure cuff.
3/6
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I didn't give it much thought. I just got that lower was better—"Are you an athlete?"—and that if I was nervous—as one sometimes is in the doctor's office—it would go up. So my thoughts would quiet, my body would relax, and my breathing would slow, and my heart rate would drop by maybe 10-12 bpm.
2/6
Regular doctor checkups taught me how to lower my heart rate.
1/6↓
If you experience sex more at the level of somatic sensation than presentation…
If you relinquish control and let your body's natural response take the lead, rather than trying get it to do what you think it should…
If you're equally familiar with the nuances of your partner's body and pleasure and your own…
If your two different tastes, sensitivities, responsiveness, are brought into a single deeply shared experience…
That co-experiencing can extend all the way to and through climax.
I haven’t taught a bonafide ѕεχ class in five or six years.
And I’ve 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 taught this one. Until now.
It’s about going over the edge together.
Not technique. Not tricks. Just how deeply two people can be connected and in sync... and what becomes possible when they do.
DM me for details.
There are two paths to realizing your relationship vision, without compromising:
A. You blow their mind with a vision that's even better for your partner than their own. A relationship vision so powerful and beautiful it surpasses what they imagined or hoped. Or...
B. You co-create, from scratch, a vision for your relationship that surpasses either of your individual preconceived visions. Together you envision something better than what either of you could ever have come up with on your own.
I don't think the question is whether your relationship requires you to change or not.
My relationship has called upon me to change on multiple occasions. Ana too. And we're both vastly the better for it.
The question is whether the relationship is requiring you to GROW, or to PRETZEL yourself.
Is it a fire under your ass to evolve toward who you want to be, aspire to be?
Or a mandate to make compromises to who you are in order to be loved?
Who would take a class on Simultaneous O*?
DM me directly if the answer might be yes or you're curious.
Like the post if you appreciate the video.
When I hear the phrase, “I have commitment issues,” I believe that the translation really is “I have decision-making issues.”
- Dr. Scott Sibley, Associate Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences at NIU
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4. Be open and transparent, even when it's uncomfortable. Take a break if you're emotionally flooded, then as soon as you can, proactively re-engage on the hard conversation, so it doesn't get swept under the rug.
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2. Maintain high regard for your partner like it's your duty. Commit that as long as you stay together you'll hold them in high regard. Make it a practice.
3. Be open to feedback and take it to heart. Only communicate in reasons or justifications when (a) your partner wants to hear them, or (b) you are explaining why your actions in the future won't change.
The Gottman Institute identified "four horsemen" signaling a relationship in trouble: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
So what should you be doing instead?
1. When upset, communicate in emotion words—angry, hurt, disappointed, jealous, anxious, fearful, overwhelmed, embarrassed—until you feel ready to turn your attention from what happened to what you'd like different moving forward. Then communicate in requests. "In the future, would you..."
